How could a world so full of people be suffering from an epidemic of loneliness? We don’t hear a lot about it for many reasons. Perhaps we are embarrassed and think that we are the only ones who are lonely and that others will think less of us for it. The irony here is that thinking we are the only ones suffering is a symptom of loneliness and a stumbling block to realizing the extent in which those feelings are shared by others. Even if we did realize it and even though “misery loves company” it certainly wouldn’t do us any good. Loneliness is one of those many experiences that are interconnected with others such as fear, anxiety, anger, depression and so forth. Lonely people try many ways to break out of the loneliness. Most of the time it involves setting up activities with others and staying as busy as possible hoping to keep the loneliness at bay. At best that is a temporary fix and at worst it deepens the loneliness.
The truth of loneliness is that it is exclusively an inner phenomena. The most common way of coping with chronic stress nowadays is by disconnecting from the present moment. It’s a strategy that has been hard wired into our nervous systems as a way of dealing with danger/fight or flight. We are disconnecting from our bodies, thoughts and emotions and with chronic stress the disconnection stays with us for extended periods of time. It is when we are disconnected like this that we lose touch with ourselves and that subsequent sense of loneliness is a reminder to us to reconnect to ourselves. It’s a symptom, a message from the body trying to get our attention to correct a situation. That’s what all symptoms are…messages from the body/mind to pay attention to it’s needs. If you are not in your body you are certainly not in the present moment and the present moment is where we connect with ourselves and the world around us. Mindfulness brings us back into the body/mind which is where the present moment resides. Once that happens there is a shift in the nervous system which reverses the fear, loneliness, isolation and so forth and we feel like we are “in touch” once again. In touch first with ourselves where loneliness disappears and then able to reconnect with the world around us in new deeper ways.